A Disgraceful Interlude

OK, folks.  I am currently writing a post about using a public bathroom.  And it has grown into such an interesting and complicated post that I could not possibly put it up now and do it justice.  I am serious.  I want to work on it another week.  But I have to put SOMETHING up, it’s Monday!  Some underlying themes of this upcoming post are privacy and nudity, and writing on these topics reminded me of a story that I can’t seem to fit into the post.  So, in the spirit of shaming, here is an embarrassing tid-bit from my past:

I take a lot of risks, a sizeable amount of which include the risk of becoming naked in public.  There are too many instances to recount them all, but suffice it to say, I’ve had my fair share of over-share, largely on account of my own negligence/over confidence that for whatever reason, “it would all work out”, or in other words, doing foolish things while naked.  An example.  A couple of years back, I was living in the 3rd story of a brownstone in Brooklyn.  I had but one window in my cramped, street-facing room, probably about 6’ by 2’ (the window, not the room.  The room was closer to 5’ across…really.) I’d just gotten out of the shower and was walking around my room without towel, like ya do.  For some reason, I decided my curtains needed adjusting?  Maybe there was a sliver of light getting in and I didn’t like it? I have no idea.  Whatever the reason, I climbed up the radiator and wriggled my way on to the window ledge, sandwiching myself between window and a clothes rod I kept in lieu of a closet. (Brooklyn.)  I reached up to pull the fabric over, when boom, entire curtain rod fell to the ground, leaving me standing naked in my window on my tip-toes, reaching for a curtain that was no longer there, full frontal.  And retreat was complicated thanks to the clothes behind me, so I struggled with the curtain for a frantic moment, trying to hold it up in front of me, put it back into place, anything, but I was too frazzled and couldn’t hold on to it, so eventually I just dove off the radiator, over my clothes, a naked Evil Kanevil, only instead of fire, I was covered in shame.  Merry Christmas, Bed-Stuy!